The Art of Being Enough

Reading this post over at TangledWings( La Vie En Rose's latest blog offering) I was reminded of the time when I first put myself out there as a "professional"; a girl and her camera for hire. It was terrifying. I had a real issue with labels and calling myself a photographer. It was so hard for me and I resisted for a long time because I didn't feel worthy of what felt like a lofty title. I know many of you feel the same way. Why is that?

Let get to the bottom of this and while we're at it tell ourselves over and over that we are enough.

Let's discuss. I am eager to hear your thoughts.

Comments

[Bunny]

That is a heavy one, Tracey. As a mother I struggle to believe that I am enough. And certainly professionally, whatever my profession may become, I haven't ever felt like enough. But you know, I beat myself up for not being enough when really, I do pretty well.

Like the author at Tangled Wings, I would love to be considered a photographer and especially a writer. But I on;y do those things as hobbies. I don't make any money with them, nor do I have any plans to try and make money with them.

Hmm. You've got me thinking.

[Alissa]

Well, you know, I'd love to be able to say, "I'm a photographer". Not for the professional status or the money, just because that's what I'd like to be. And while there are all sorts of people that look at my photographs and say "those are really great! you should A. enter that in a contest B. do this for a living C. take pictures of my kids for me!" there are just as many other people that say "why is that off center?" "is that supposed to be that color?" "how come that's crooked?"

And while I'm perfectly aware that I'm supposed to define my own style, and as long as I'm happy with my work all should be ok, the negative comments affect me way more than the positive ones do. Especially when the negative ones come from those closest to me--my husband, my mom, my best friend. Not because they're being critical, because they're asking honest questions.

To be perfectly honest, I don't want to be a professional photographer in that I want to make a living taking photographs. Would I mind selling an image here and there? No. Would I mind taking shots of the neighbors kids for a few bucks? No. Should I call myself a photographer if I do that? Probably. But Ansel Adams is a photographer. Annie Leibowitz is a photographer. I just take pictures, and sometimes they turn out nice. Right?

[Kelly Bera]

I honestly can't say what makes us "enough" except for meeting our own standards. Which, let's face it, as mothers is a pretty high bar. I am still in the beginnings of putting myself out there and discussed this very thing with my mom. I felt like I couldn't charge people much because I wasn't a professional. She said, "The difference between pro and amateur is that you get paid for it. This is something you love, just enjoy it." That helped a lot, but I was still working with my 35mm (a very nice one, but in the day of digital it was kind of hard to compete) and my little digital powershot. I finally got my Canon XTi (gleeee!), so that boosted my confidence a lot! But I know the best camera in the world doesn't make a great photographer. So all that to say: what your title is, how much you charge or even the tools you work with doesn't really make you enough. Someone is always going to criticize, reject, or even worse, do a better job. But whether you take pictures, paint, write, etc., if the final result is something that makes you feel good (the perfect picture, the poem that expressed everything you were feeling, the hug from your child, etc.) then you are MORE than enough!!!
Sorry this was long, but I've been struggling a lot with this lately. Thanks for bringing it up. I'm eager to hear what others have to say!

[TK]

Funny thing is that the following just recently happened to me:

I attended my Godson's Spring Sing and took some pictures (more like snap-shots) and acquitance was there with her daughter.
When she saw my D80 with accesories she said she "didn't know I was a photographer".
I said, "I'm not."
After the event I viewed the pictures, had gotten a great one of her daugter and emailed it off to her. Her reply: "you said you weren't a photographer, I beg to differ, this pic is wonderful!"

So, why do we have a hard time?! For me, I am not at a place in my photography that I feel comfortable saying it. The more I learn, the more I realize how far I have to go still. I don't think not having the desire to make money from photography keeps me from being a "phgotographer". It is more about the skill level I am at.

[Stacy]

We are women, therefore we self-doubt.

I love photography. I love designing and making children's clothes. I love designing rooms. I love cooking from scratch and creating mouth-watering meals.

Am I a photographer? A designer? A chef?

Although I love to hear the compliments on my creations, I know the limits of my skills. I know what I don't know, and being a perfectionist, that knowledge does not allow me to make "claims".

Other people give me titles, which I graciously accept, but inside I feel a fraud. I have done photoshoots for some friends and family, and they love the photos. I see where I could have done better, and I am glad that I didn't charge them.

Although a little help with paying for my equipment would be nice. ;)

Someday, perhaps, I will claim that title.

[Paige]

In my case, this comes in to play with charging for my services. I am a graphic designer (I don't have trouble saying that one because it's what I do for a living and got my degree in). But when I do freelance projects I really have trouble charging what I'm worth.

And now, as I become more and more interested in photography, I have dreams of becoming professional someday. But I think my biggest obstacle is believing that I can do it. For every photo I take that I love, there is one that makes me doubt my talent and skill. But for the most part, I am staying pretty positive about this "dream" and I think I may just stick with this one.

I got off track a little. Until I read this post, I didn't even consider calling myself a photographer!. But I suppose I should! Like others have said it's just "something I enjoy doing". I hope to change that into "I enjoy being a photographer."

[tamilou]

This is the first time I'm posting on your blog. I've been reading it for a month now...
It was this comment that really provocted me to comment. I am dealing with this same issue. I have been paid to photograph others, selective others, for over 5 years now. I have now commited to be more serious and put my pics on a website and branch out to strangers. Am I a photographer...yes. I do enjoy capturing the essence of other's kids, families, etc. Would I call myself a pro...no! But I am my own worst critic. Aren't we all though? I am still learning...a lot about the digital world. My girlfriend who is a pro photog and has written several books on photography gave me great advice a long time ago. Enjoy photography as a hobby, find your love it and love your syle, creativity etc. Once you start getting paid for your pics, if you don't truly enjoy creatively capturing others on your terms...your hobby will become a chore and you'll lose your enjoyment in it. So love it...love it enough to get compliments in referrals and money. Referrals are you best compliments that you are good at your hobby. But be creative on your terms...not on terms for others.

Okay, so does that make sense? Thanks for this thought provoking blog!

[Alissa]

This one is close to home for me. It sums up a lot of what I feel in a way I couldn't have defined myself. Thanks for the link and the inspirational subject matter to ponder. As always, I'm glad I visited.

[NTE]

Definitely relate to this one: that post, and the comments it has provoked, really, really hit home for me. The idea of calling myself a writer or a photographer, or claiming something creative as my own seems impossible to me. But I do write. I do take photographs. I do study all I can about the things that I enjoy. I do learn as much as I can about these arts from other people. But I still don't know that I would call myself either of these things. It's such a hard question.

[Ashlea]

Well, i'll just add that i think a photographer simply tells story's with pictures. For me its just that simple. Some people tell better stories than others and some people just have that "eye".
But you can still be something even if you don't get paid, or are not the best. It's the intention, for me at least ;)

[leeshamak]

I have been thinking about this all day~ I have no easy, neatly tied up answer. I love to take pictures; I love to sing; I love to be creative... That is what has made me who I am. That is enough... for now~ I am still becoming... Aren't we all?

[Kari]

Wow, so many insightful comments! It is pretty clear that there are many articulate, creative women here. I love looking at everyone's BSM shots (and now the TT)and would say there are plenty of "photographers" in the bunch.

Now would I call myself one? Erm. Uh. Not to someone's face when describing what I "do," but someday I'd like to say so without blushing.

[melody]

This is going to take an entire post, and I think each of us posting to our blogs and linking might be good.

But at this moment...I feel completely less than enough in all aspects of life. Not looking for pity, my life is super...just being real about how I feel at this moment.

Great and deep question.

[Anna]

Wow, are you all reading my mind?

Sometimes I am embarrassed to haul out my SLR when I am surrounded by parents with perfectly good point-and-shoots at a birthday party or the like.

Sort of like every photo I produce must be incredible if I have a camera like that, or if you aren't a pro, why do you have equipment like that?

I guess I'm just learning to be proud of being an amateur photographer, and maybe some days a good amateur photographer. Now I just need to practice saying it out loud.

[Stacy]

As Melody suggested, I posted about it on my blog: http://the-kraft-family.com/WordPress/?p=535

I still don't think that I captured all of my thoughts on this, but its a start.